Top ten things I am scared of:

Mind you that this list varies in order for some items depending upon the situation, the size of the issue/animal, and if someone else shares my fear (in which case I find that I have to muster up courage to fight the obstacle. We can’t both be incapacitated).

1.) Spiders

They are creepy and crawly with eight legs and they always know where to find me. Read my next blog to understand what I mean.

2.) Needles

To show you how much I hate needles let me tell you, the reader, that when I was younger I overheard mum and a doctor talking about having to give me a shot. Well, the moment I heard I took off out the doors to the building and into the parking lot where there was traffic driving around. Almost getting hit I turned on my heels and climbed the only tree available but I wasn’t fast enough. Mum grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me down. I was terrified! I hate needles. I even get weak in the knees at hospitals.

3.) The dark

I think my fear comes from the fact that I can’t see anything. I used to have my TV playing all night to keep me company and now I’m married and thankfully I have a person in the bed with me now. But the mind is a terrifying thing and it comes up with some of the most horrific things. It doesn’t help when you grow up seeing things and you believe that there is more out there then what you can see.

4.) Zombies

Call me funny but I don’t like the thought of turning into something slowly decaying nor being chased after by a decomposing corpse. And thank God to whoever decided to place signs up whenever they are filming a zombie movie saying, “Do not shot the Zombies! They’re actors.” And God forbid if I watch a zombie movie. I’ve been known to wake up from nightmares where my family is taken. It’s just sad. No one wants to watch their little brother be taken. So I’m scared of zombies.

5.) Dogs

No matter what people say I have a fear of dogs. They just don’t like me! I have been chased, bitten a couple of times too many, and growled out. My husband is loved by all dogs and says they can smell my fear. Well, heck! If they would lick me first before growling I might be okay, but they don’t. So until the day that happens I’m going to stay scared and packing a gun. Sorry, but protection first against anything that poses a threat.

6.) Large crowds

I need breathing space. In a large crowd I suddenly begin to sweat and need to rush away. I’m suffocating. This is about the point when Shawn takes me in his arms and makes me closes me eyes or he pulls me away to a quieter corner where I can get myself together.

7.) Being alone in an empty house

When I was younger I saw things. I listened to boxes moving under my bed, the feeling of someone in a room with you, and then finally I saw more than just a few shadows. So being alone in any home isn’t at the top of my list of favorite things.

8.) Trespassing

My husband likes to walk onto another person’s property and go walking in the woods. I like it to an extinct, but he wants to travel miles. I hate the thought of going too far in concern we’ll get shot. There are hunting leases around and I don’t know all the neighbors. Living where we do there are a lot of woods and animals. I panic and always wonder, “what if you get lost?” or “you get shot?”, but I’m a very overly protective person and I’m always thinking the worse. It bothers me so much that I could have a panic attack over the matter.

9.) Drowning

Who wants to drown? Honestly. I can swim just fine I just don’t want to go where I’m drowning. I don’t want to be aware of my demise as I struggle to get oxygen when there is none.

10.) Open water

Call me silly but I can’t stand the thought of Open Ocean or even rivers sometimes. I keep thinking about the movie Jaws or Lake placid. I mean come on. Being dragged under the water or having limbs remove isn’t so great a picture.

These are just ten things that I’m scared of and though there are other things that freak me out these stands out the most.

Thank you for reading.

B. Franklin

Bathtub and I

The Bathtub and I.

I must admit that when I place those two words “Bathtub” and “I” together in a sentence the thoughts tend to stray, but that’s not what I am going to type about.

I find that when I come to a road block in my thinking or a question I can’t answer. I want to take a nice hot bath. My intention usually isn’t to solve the problem but to understand what the problem is and to straighten out the kinks.

When it comes to a religious conversation between my husband and myself I can’t help but stumble around. I honestly can’t seem to process anything he says, nor do I study the topic. Religion and I aren’t the best of buds. That might have something to do with the way I grew up, but I drift.

After listening to Shawn tell stories for a while I’m more than a little confused and my head is hurting, but all I need to do is fill the tub with hot water and slid in. The water does the rest.

There is something to sitting alone in a bathroom and completely relaxed in hot water that gets the mind moving. The stories Shawn has twisted around in my head begin in make sense and even begin to play out in a movie fashion. Now most of the time I’m probably missing a vital point, but I begin to see a picture more clearly and so the next time he tells me the same story I’m closer to understanding him and seeing every detail that he sees. Or so I would like to think.

Another thing that makes me want to climb into a nice hot tub is writing. Writing is so much fun but can be stressful, hair pulling, and downright nerve raking. Whenever I come to a moment where I can’t figure what to do next I somehow manage to pull myself away from the screen--because at this point whatever I right I’ll want to undo later out of frustration--long enough to talk myself into a bath.

The vapors from the hot water work its way up my neck and releases the building pressure slowly. I don’t know how hot water can cool a person down, but it works. And man I love it if you play some hard rock in the background that really gets the mind thinking. Picturing different scenes to your book to match whatever song is playing in the background. Everyone should try it at least once.

But again, I may not come to an answer to my writer block, but I can ease my panic about what to write. I can spend several minutes focusing on what I have accomplished other than what is stumping me.

And my third reason for seeking comfort in the allusive bathtub would be for pain relief. Nothing says “Go away back pain!” like a bathwater at about a hundred two degrees. ^^

There are many other reasons to relax in a tub, but those are my main ones. Please share with me yours and keep it safe. Thank you for reading my thoughts of the night.

B. Franklin

The years that have formed me

I am in love with many things and discovering myself along the way. It is the best kind of journey to have. As we grow from kids to teens, from teen to young adults, and then somehow manage to make it into adults we sometimes forget what got us here. I am sitting here typing about how I have not forgotten.

I was a happy little girl who loved pink, threw fits, and was stuck the middle child at six after the birth of my brother. My older sister was my ideal and from times I still consider her such.

In my teenage years I experience true rebellion and the realization that was was always angry, pick wasn't cool, and there were no such things as tears no matter the amount of blood or who was talking. I gained great satisfaction from others pain and have many a time manipulated words to get what I wanted without people realizing it. I was even known as Wrath in a group called 'Sinners'. there were six of us with the titles from the seven deadly sins, we never had a gluttony.

Once in high school My darkness calmed and I became part of the JB&ME as we called it. A group of four girls, a white, an Asian a puerto rican, and a black girl. I always have to point it out because it's just funny that we all came together and yet so different. Pink had finally become a color I was okay with again and my big sis ran off to college where she is getting her masters. that is also about the time I found the love of my life. though I should say that he found me and i stalked him. Can you imagine what a guy like that was thinking walking up to a girl dressed in all black who was four years younger. I was 17 at the time. He quickly ran off, but I have a great memory and thus I looked him up online...I also background searched him and well...to make a long story short a few months later we started dating and BAM! we are married. but that was later.

Finally out of high school my friends scattered across the state and it became apparent that my world would not be the same. I was too comfortable with the way things were and finally I realized that I had to let things go and relax. Things change. I can not stop that. I can not hold tight to things and expect them to stay the same just for me. No. I was being selfish. So after the death of my friend's father I couldn't take it. I lost my job because I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed a change. I couldn't hold onto everything around me. I needed to let go and move on.

So on September 11 of 2011 we lost my friends father, October 9th I lost my job, Oct 18 was my birthday and I was overly depressed, sometime in November things started to get better, and on December 13 I was married after four years of dating. It was after that that he said he would get a job and support us for a change. (I had been working three years supporting us) He told me to do what I have always wanted to do and thus I write.

I love my husband so much.


B. Franklin


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Have You Ever...

Have you ever…

Have you ever had a book that had you at hello? One of those stories where you read the title, saw the picture, or just read the back and you were hooked. Caught yourself in the checkout line reading the inside folds, about the author, New York Times comments, and maybe even the beginning of the story? Stumbled with your purse after two people had to get your attention because your nose was in the book trying to get to that next scene in the first chapter?

After gathering your money, getting the receipt, and thankfully not dropping anything else you shuttle off somehow avoiding the display sign which you think, “when did that get there?”.

You have somehow made it to the car and set your new prized possession in the passenger seat. Which as you take off down the road you realize that may not have been a good idea since it is now in your peripheral vision and is taunting you.

Thankfully you have made it home and survived only to get in the front door and having people talking, animals wanting attention, things to do, and nowhere for silence. How frustrating it is to be holding your little treasure and not be able to enjoy it until in the evening when the house has settled, people are going to bed, and the world has seemed to calm down.

Once you finally get some alone time with your book it suddenly becomes a whole new world. Your room fills with nothing but the sound of the characters talking or you are leaned forward waiting for the next part to the most irritatingly drawn out scene ever, but it was worth it.

Page by page you follow the book from one calm moment to a rush of excitement almost in the battle yourself or locked in the arms of a lover. The only thing pulling you back to reality is the realization that you can’t hold your bladder forever and eventually it will win. So you slowly crawl your way to the bathroom holding onto your book. There’s a seat! You’ll take it with you!

Time has flown by and you managed to make it back to your quiet room where it is filled with heart felt emotion from the characters in the book. The sun has long since gone to bed, but you have to keep reading. You have to know if they will get together, if they will ever find out who’s behind all the deadly attempts on your beloved characters’ lives, and how will it end?

Your spouse has given up talking you into bed. Soon the words begin to blur a little and you find yourself rubbing them more and more with the turn of each page. You have already succeeded in laughing at the book, arguing with it, and may have even shed a tear.

Finally you are coming to the end. You don’t want it to, but it has to come. Your heart is still pounding as you turn to the last page and read the last few lines holding your breath a little and at the last words releasing it was satisfaction. Nothing could beat that moment. That rush of enjoyment--which you were held so close to for so long--finally finishing the book.

You take another deep breath and close the book. Tap the cover and place it worthily on your book shelf. You stand for a long needed stretch and rub your back. It is only when going to bed do you realize that it is almost morning and soon the house will again be alive and the world will continue moving, but it was worth it.

By B. Franklin

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Long Live the Ford Explorer

Long Live the Ford Explorer

For ten years my family had a lovely Red Ford Explorer. It was a great vehicle. I can remember many times helping my dad get the canoe on the top of it. Well, trying to help. I was a bit shorter back then. It was big. You could fit five people in it and not have to worry about hitting the other person or needing more elbow room. It was a wonderful vehicle.

I can remember the first time I finally was able to get behind the wheel. I was jittery. I couldn’t wait to start the engine which when I did start I thought for sure I had killed the engine. I held it turned all the way for too long and I could have cried, but thankfully there was no lasting damage. Though, my mother was a little worried from then on.

We had used that Ford Explorer for random road trips, head banging music parties while still on the road, and many other family things. It was such a blast until my sister’s first day away from home.

We were on our way home from dropping my sister off at college about four hours away. My little brother was in the front passenger seat and I was laid across the back sleeping. I wasn’t buckled; I was just unconscious to the world until I sudden awoke feeling the car come to a stop. I can’t exactly explain what had happened next, but I sat up in the center back seat and proceeded to put on my seat belt.

This is the strangest thing I could do because I never wear a seatbelt in the back. Many times I have been told too, but I didn’t. Suddenly I’m waking up putting on a seatbelt without question. Yeah, something wasn’t right.

I’m always a little on the paranormal, spiritual, or just plain weird side of things. I sat there in silence confused by my actions and then it happened. My mother pulled forward. It happened so fast. The sound of two vehicles colliding sounds completely different when you are inside one of them. The crunch is more distinct and the sound of panicking people is more fearful then if you were just watching.

Everyone was okay. The other person’s car must have flipped three times before stopping upright, but the man was completely unharmed. He was furious and darted awfully fast towards us with foul words. But I must give him credit. He may have been mad, but the moment he saw liquid pouring out the bottom of our car he was yelling for us to get out. I was reached forward and pulled David into the back seat with me getting him out of the car, but when I tried to help mum the door was stuck.

It all happened really fast and I don’t remember if I was alone prying mom’s door open out of fear and adrenaline, but I distinctly remember everyone’s comments and conversations. They were blaming my mother. We were standing right there and all they could talk about was the fact that she pulled out when it was obvious he was there. I just wanted to scream at people to be quiet.

Yes my mother pulled out a little too soon, but she had not had any sort of accidents in over ten years. I would say that’s an accomplishment. The other driver was also driving on the right side of the road and at the last second slid over into the left without prior warning. So when my mother thought her lane was going to be clear and she began to pull out he had already started too slid over.

What allows people to be rude and not take in the fact that the individuals are hurting regardless of who was right or wrong? The first thing they want to hear isn’t that they were to blame, but that everyone is okay. Or that they are going to be okay.

Neither parties pressed charges and the insurance took care of everything, but the mental scars of the accident itself. We found out later that there had been an accident not long before us involving an eighteen wheeler and a smaller vehicle. You can guess who won and you can also guess who didn’t survive. It’s scary and it’s real. Accidents happen, but remember that you can always replace a car. You can’t replace the person. So drive safe, buckle up, and use a turn signal, because no matter how good a driver you might be you don’t’ know about the other person.

B. Franklin

Paused by life and yet hard at work

I work most of the social medias through my husband's phone since we do not have internet where we live at the moment. It is a little hard to keep up with people on Facebook, e-mails, and Twitter in that means, but I have done a good job so thus far. Or so I would like to think.

I have stories on Smashwords which I have decided need to be edited like A Steady Pulse and Barely Beating. Once I began to read them again i realized that they still need TLC. so for the moment I am editing them one slow page at a time as most writers would understand the process of editing thoroughly. It takes a while.

I am not pulling my works off of smashwords because I am worried it will damage it in some way and I will end up in a huge mess of things later. So for the time being they are still up and later I will come back and update them. Hopefully by the end of June they will be polished and given new covers. I look forward to when they are finally finished and given the seal of approval by all my friends.

In a matter of a couple of weeks, maybe less, my family will be moving. More like upgrading in our living arrangements and so i can't promise I will be on the computer or phone as often. So I might not blog for a while since blogging would be difficult on the phone and I doubt I will be on the phone as often since my husband takes it to work.

I'll try to keep up with tweeting, but I don't know how well I'll be keeping up with it or posting since editing and getting everything ready for the move is taking top priority. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing and we won't have too many problems, but it's never easy in my family. Cross your fingers it'll be okay.

Bless you all and thanks for understanding.
B. Franklin

A pause from writing is to DRAW

When I find that my mind can no longer get things in working order and a bath just wont do I put pencil to paper. I have to keep my hands moving. I need to keep everything in good shape and i find that the best way to do this is through drawing. It causes you to focus the mind. when i can't just draw from scratch I grab a manga and draw what i call is a copyart. You have to focus and be perscious. get the lines right and do the best you can to match it to the small picture before you only drawing it on an 8X10 sketch book paper. For me It turns out a little like this.

The picture to the left is from an anime series called Ah! My Goddess. It was just one of many of my sketches and i picked this as a demonstration because it was the clearest to see, but by having to draw these pictures I have to focus my mind so much that I have pulled away from what I was working on long enough to relax. It really helps to clear the head.

As my art improved, as did my writing I went from sketching to creating line arts of my works with copic makers and the wonderful paint program on the computer as you can tell by the drawing to the right. This is of two ladies that I have drawn several months ago and finally got around to inking them. They came out better then I expected.
As of recently I have pulled out all my old works and started to ink them for my final goal of adding layers and getting an end result of what you see on the left. This is a picture I had stored away of a little manga girl for some time and here she is finally completed. it came out better then i thought.

My goal is to continue to improve in drawing and maybe be able to draw the cast of characters that fill my head on a day to day bases, to not only write and bring people to life, but to draw and give you what they look like. How wonderful that would be for me and I am working hard and making that dream a reality.

Follow me on Twitter, read my writings on Smashwords, look at my art on Deviantart, or just say hi to me on Facebook. B. Franklin