Thursday, July 5, 2012

The years that have formed me

I am in love with many things and discovering myself along the way. It is the best kind of journey to have. As we grow from kids to teens, from teen to young adults, and then somehow manage to make it into adults we sometimes forget what got us here. I am sitting here typing about how I have not forgotten.

I was a happy little girl who loved pink, threw fits, and was stuck the middle child at six after the birth of my brother. My older sister was my ideal and from times I still consider her such.

In my teenage years I experience true rebellion and the realization that was was always angry, pick wasn't cool, and there were no such things as tears no matter the amount of blood or who was talking. I gained great satisfaction from others pain and have many a time manipulated words to get what I wanted without people realizing it. I was even known as Wrath in a group called 'Sinners'. there were six of us with the titles from the seven deadly sins, we never had a gluttony.

Once in high school My darkness calmed and I became part of the JB&ME as we called it. A group of four girls, a white, an Asian a puerto rican, and a black girl. I always have to point it out because it's just funny that we all came together and yet so different. Pink had finally become a color I was okay with again and my big sis ran off to college where she is getting her masters. that is also about the time I found the love of my life. though I should say that he found me and i stalked him. Can you imagine what a guy like that was thinking walking up to a girl dressed in all black who was four years younger. I was 17 at the time. He quickly ran off, but I have a great memory and thus I looked him up online...I also background searched him and make a long story short a few months later we started dating and BAM! we are married. but that was later.

Finally out of high school my friends scattered across the state and it became apparent that my world would not be the same. I was too comfortable with the way things were and finally I realized that I had to let things go and relax. Things change. I can not stop that. I can not hold tight to things and expect them to stay the same just for me. No. I was being selfish. So after the death of my friend's father I couldn't take it. I lost my job because I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed a change. I couldn't hold onto everything around me. I needed to let go and move on.

So on September 11 of 2011 we lost my friends father, October 9th I lost my job, Oct 18 was my birthday and I was overly depressed, sometime in November things started to get better, and on December 13 I was married after four years of dating. It was after that that he said he would get a job and support us for a change. (I had been working three years supporting us) He told me to do what I have always wanted to do and thus I write.

I love my husband so much.

B. Franklin

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