Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Top ten things I am scared of:

Mind you that this list varies in order for some items depending upon the situation, the size of the issue/animal, and if someone else shares my fear (in which case I find that I have to muster up courage to fight the obstacle. We can’t both be incapacitated).

1.) Spiders
They are creepy and crawly with eight legs and they always know where to find me. Read my next blog to understand what I mean.

2.) Needles
To show you how much I hate needles let me tell you, the reader, that when I was younger I overheard mum and a doctor talking about having to give me a shot. Well, the moment I heard I took off out the doors to the building and into the parking lot where there was traffic driving around. Almost getting hit I turned on my heels and climbed the only tree available but I wasn’t fast enough. Mum grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me down. I was terrified! I hate needles. I even get weak in the knees at hospitals.

3.) The dark
I think my fear comes from the fact that I can’t see anything. I used to have my TV playing all night to keep me company and now I’m married and thankfully I have a person in the bed with me now. But the mind is a terrifying thing and it comes up with some of the most horrific things. It doesn’t help when you grow up seeing things and you believe that there is more out there then what you can see.

4.) Zombies
Call me funny but I don’t like the thought of turning into something slowly decaying nor being chased after by a decomposing corpse. And thank God to whoever decided to place signs up whenever they are filming a zombie movie saying, “Do not shot the Zombies! They’re actors.” And God forbid if I watch a zombie movie. I’ve been known to wake up from nightmares where my family is taken. It’s just sad. No one wants to watch their little brother be taken. So I’m scared of zombies.

5.) Dogs
No matter what people say I have a fear of dogs. They just don’t like me! I have been chased, bitten a couple of times too many, and growled out. My husband is loved by all dogs and says they can smell my fear. Well, heck! If they would lick me first before growling I might be okay, but they don’t. So until the day that happens I’m going to stay scared and packing a gun. Sorry, but protection first against anything that poses a threat.
6.) Large crowds
I need breathing space. In a large crowd I suddenly begin to sweat and need to rush away. I’m suffocating. This is about the point when Shawn takes me in his arms and makes me closes me eyes or he pulls me away to a quieter corner where I can get myself together.

7.) Being alone in an empty house
When I was younger I saw things. I listened to boxes moving under my bed, the feeling of someone in a room with you, and then finally I saw more than just a few shadows. So being alone in any home isn’t at the top of my list of favorite things.

8.) Trespassing
My husband likes to walk onto another person’s property and go walking in the woods. I like it to an extinct, but he wants to travel miles. I hate the thought of going too far in concern we’ll get shot. There are hunting leases around and I don’t know all the neighbors. Living where we do there are a lot of woods and animals. I panic and always wonder, “what if you get lost?” or “you get shot?”, but I’m a very overly protective person and I’m always thinking the worse. It bothers me so much that I could have a panic attack over the matter.

9.) Drowning
Who wants to drown? Honestly. I can swim just fine I just don’t want to go where I’m drowning. I don’t want to be aware of my demise as I struggle to get oxygen when there is none.

10.) Open water
Call me silly but I can’t stand the thought of Open Ocean or even rivers sometimes. I keep thinking about the movie Jaws or Lake placid. I mean come on. Being dragged under the water or having limbs remove isn’t so great a picture.

These are just ten things that I’m scared of and though there are other things that freak me out these stands out the most.
Thank you for reading.
B. Franklin

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Bathtub and I

The Bathtub and I.

I must admit that when I place those two words “Bathtub” and “I” together in a sentence the thoughts tend to stray, but that’s not what I am going to type about.

I find that when I come to a road block in my thinking or a question I can’t answer. I want to take a nice hot bath. My intention usually isn’t to solve the problem but to understand what the problem is and to straighten out the kinks.

When it comes to a religious conversation between my husband and myself I can’t help but stumble around. I honestly can’t seem to process anything he says, nor do I study the topic. Religion and I aren’t the best of buds. That might have something to do with the way I grew up, but I drift.

After listening to Shawn tell stories for a while I’m more than a little confused and my head is hurting, but all I need to do is fill the tub with hot water and slid in. The water does the rest.

There is something to sitting alone in a bathroom and completely relaxed in hot water that gets the mind moving. The stories Shawn has twisted around in my head begin in make sense and even begin to play out in a movie fashion. Now most of the time I’m probably missing a vital point, but I begin to see a picture more clearly and so the next time he tells me the same story I’m closer to understanding him and seeing every detail that he sees. Or so I would like to think.

Another thing that makes me want to climb into a nice hot tub is writing. Writing is so much fun but can be stressful, hair pulling, and downright nerve raking. Whenever I come to a moment where I can’t figure what to do next I somehow manage to pull myself away from the screen--because at this point whatever I right I’ll want to undo later out of frustration--long enough to talk myself into a bath.

The vapors from the hot water work its way up my neck and releases the building pressure slowly. I don’t know how hot water can cool a person down, but it works. And man I love it if you play some hard rock in the background that really gets the mind thinking. Picturing different scenes to your book to match whatever song is playing in the background. Everyone should try it at least once.

But again, I may not come to an answer to my writer block, but I can ease my panic about what to write. I can spend several minutes focusing on what I have accomplished other than what is stumping me.

And my third reason for seeking comfort in the allusive bathtub would be for pain relief. Nothing says “Go away back pain!” like a bathwater at about a hundred two degrees. ^^

There are many other reasons to relax in a tub, but those are my main ones. Please share with me yours and keep it safe. Thank you for reading my thoughts of the night.

B. Franklin